Monday, December 21, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
مبروك عالأرض
جزمة
أنا جزمة
جزمة فى مخى
قديمة
جزمة
أنا باخد بالجزمة
جزمة سيد سيدى
الغالية
جزمة
أنا بترمى زى الجزمة
عالجزمة القديمة
وإقلب
جزمة
أنا اشتريت جزمة
جزمة مانولو بلانيك
بتوجع
جزمة
أنا صلحت جزمة
جزمة جدتى
ولمعتها
أنا جزمة
جزمة فى مخى
قديمة
جزمة
أنا باخد بالجزمة
جزمة سيد سيدى
الغالية
جزمة
أنا بترمى زى الجزمة
عالجزمة القديمة
وإقلب
جزمة
أنا اشتريت جزمة
جزمة مانولو بلانيك
بتوجع
جزمة
أنا صلحت جزمة
جزمة جدتى
ولمعتها
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
واحد
انا عمرى ما فكرت فى فكرة الضلع
لغاية ما عرفتك
وعرفت قد إيه الواحد ممكن يتوجع
بسبب حد تانى
ويفضل يحبه
أكن الحب ده بير مالوش اّخر
دورت كتير جوه مخى على السبب
ما لقيتش غير تفسير واحد:
مين أكتر حد بيستحملنى؟
أنا
يبقى أنا حته منه
واحد
لغاية ما عرفتك
وعرفت قد إيه الواحد ممكن يتوجع
بسبب حد تانى
ويفضل يحبه
أكن الحب ده بير مالوش اّخر
دورت كتير جوه مخى على السبب
ما لقيتش غير تفسير واحد:
مين أكتر حد بيستحملنى؟
أنا
يبقى أنا حته منه
واحد
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Welcome to the trashcan of my thoughts:)...just how I felt about writing in my blog today...nothing crucial to say, no fancy way of putting it...just output.
I've been wondering all day about something. Do we really fall in love again? After you've been in love and you've given it your all and it fails and you eventually give up..do you fall in love again?
I know its a stupid question. I know we do. Its just that there's this annoying phase after breakups where you're absolutely closed. It's the phase right after the searing pain and the numbness. You don't hurt anymore, but its like a steel wall has very efficiently been built around your heart. It becomes untouchable. You function perfectly well...every little part of you...except for that organ.
Come to think of it-its a very empowering feeling: when you're not being hauled around by your heart.
over&out
I've been wondering all day about something. Do we really fall in love again? After you've been in love and you've given it your all and it fails and you eventually give up..do you fall in love again?
I know its a stupid question. I know we do. Its just that there's this annoying phase after breakups where you're absolutely closed. It's the phase right after the searing pain and the numbness. You don't hurt anymore, but its like a steel wall has very efficiently been built around your heart. It becomes untouchable. You function perfectly well...every little part of you...except for that organ.
Come to think of it-its a very empowering feeling: when you're not being hauled around by your heart.
over&out
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Of Spine and Men
i realized something yesterday. not happy with it. will probably never have the balls to do it. but hey! at least im aware of it now. at least now i know what should be done...and never do it. Yay me.
when there is a man in my life, i become a clear case of arrested development. The minute im manless (i was actually going to say the minute my life is empty-which so proves that this is NEVER going to go beyond an enlightening theory for me)...i develop opinions, creativity flows, i blossom and branch out into so many wonderful new directions.
Do i blame the man? Wish i cud-but no. Im sick and tired of women always blaming men for everything. Take some responsibility, we've just become so comfortable with the "its the man's fault" excuse that its such a hassle to get off our asses and actually do something instead of all the boo-hooing.
so its my fault. 100%. I have an automated switch in my head:man out of life:"ON", man in life: "OFF". When im with a man, i feel obliged to sculpture myself to his liking and preferences. Not at all in a deceitful way-its more of an accommodating ritual...honoured by our damn society.
Does this mean its either manless or spineless? At the beginning of this post, that's what i thought..but on second thought...hell no! I will find a way to be me as fully as achingly possible AND as accommodating as womanly possible to my man (simply because i love it). I will have both the man and the spine please, thank you.
when there is a man in my life, i become a clear case of arrested development. The minute im manless (i was actually going to say the minute my life is empty-which so proves that this is NEVER going to go beyond an enlightening theory for me)...i develop opinions, creativity flows, i blossom and branch out into so many wonderful new directions.
Do i blame the man? Wish i cud-but no. Im sick and tired of women always blaming men for everything. Take some responsibility, we've just become so comfortable with the "its the man's fault" excuse that its such a hassle to get off our asses and actually do something instead of all the boo-hooing.
so its my fault. 100%. I have an automated switch in my head:man out of life:"ON", man in life: "OFF". When im with a man, i feel obliged to sculpture myself to his liking and preferences. Not at all in a deceitful way-its more of an accommodating ritual...honoured by our damn society.
Does this mean its either manless or spineless? At the beginning of this post, that's what i thought..but on second thought...hell no! I will find a way to be me as fully as achingly possible AND as accommodating as womanly possible to my man (simply because i love it). I will have both the man and the spine please, thank you.
Monday, August 17, 2009
just so that we're crystal clear about this: love is a bitch! If I could get my hands on that filthy tramp id scratch her face so bad she'd be gushing blood from every little square inch of that pretty little face-id render her completely unrecognizable..then..id get a hammer and cripple her-for fucking life-we're talking arms, hands, fingers, legs, knees, feet, toes...toe by fucking stinking toe.
Clearly, im not a fan.
Clearly, im not a fan.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
unsick
I'm up against the wall again. I somehow always manage to walk myself straight up to that same wall, politely turn around, and press my back against it-like a good little girl. Now...I'm beginning to suspect that if its becoming a pattern...I do it because I like it. Sick. Subconsciously, of course. But still-sick.
Wait...what is sick anyway? and what's..."unsick"? Damn! I hate it when im comfortably writing about little egotistical nothings and an annoying, pain in the ass question decides to grace my already messed up head with its unwanted presence. ناقصة أنا؟! ما هى متلصمه خلقة! أحا!
Ok, lets get it over with. Sick, psycho. What? we use this word or that when describing a peculiarity of character. Something that "society" would"gasp" at. God! just that last sentence makes me wanna do "pycho" all the time!(Yes-im racist). Look, lets cut a looooong, boring story short...
In society, there is a uniform way of doing things. We know every little rule by heart. Act out our roles to perfection. The refined, cultured you. The "representation" of that which is "Human" (just in case God or aliens are watching)
And then there's the other you. The "sick" you. The "psycho" me. Inside our heads. Our closest relationships. Our homes. Rooms. Closets. Bags. Ipods. Fridges. Bookshelves. Prayers. Dreams. Beds. Garbage cans.
I stink at conclusions. Conclusions stink anyway. You do the math-or not. Don't care.
Wait...what is sick anyway? and what's..."unsick"? Damn! I hate it when im comfortably writing about little egotistical nothings and an annoying, pain in the ass question decides to grace my already messed up head with its unwanted presence. ناقصة أنا؟! ما هى متلصمه خلقة! أحا!
Ok, lets get it over with. Sick, psycho. What? we use this word or that when describing a peculiarity of character. Something that "society" would"gasp" at. God! just that last sentence makes me wanna do "pycho" all the time!(Yes-im racist). Look, lets cut a looooong, boring story short...
In society, there is a uniform way of doing things. We know every little rule by heart. Act out our roles to perfection. The refined, cultured you. The "representation" of that which is "Human" (just in case God or aliens are watching)
And then there's the other you. The "sick" you. The "psycho" me. Inside our heads. Our closest relationships. Our homes. Rooms. Closets. Bags. Ipods. Fridges. Bookshelves. Prayers. Dreams. Beds. Garbage cans.
I stink at conclusions. Conclusions stink anyway. You do the math-or not. Don't care.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Is there a forever thing? Im beginning to think not- not bitterly so-on the contrary. What if we're all so hooked up on the "till death do us (freakin finally!) part" that we don't see that relationships are actually meant to have a beginning, middle and end?
I think we're too conditioned by "that which is universally known to be the norm"..not to mention scared shitless to admit it.
At the core of it all I think it's our phobia of endings. Why do we have a phobia of endings? Let's delve...could it all be stemming from our final "ultimate" ending? Dying? Just because we don't know what's next? Could be. Could it be because we're also "conditioned" to believe that after death its a 50/50 chance? ElDar aw Elnar? Could be. So its the fear of the unknown, basically.
If a relationship ends, we are stuck with just ourselves to vouch for our worthiness. We don't have a partner to verify our worth..that we're worth spending time with, committing to. So we derive our worth-not from within-but from without.
I have nothing more to say right now-too confused by what I just wrote.
I think we're too conditioned by "that which is universally known to be the norm"..not to mention scared shitless to admit it.
At the core of it all I think it's our phobia of endings. Why do we have a phobia of endings? Let's delve...could it all be stemming from our final "ultimate" ending? Dying? Just because we don't know what's next? Could be. Could it be because we're also "conditioned" to believe that after death its a 50/50 chance? ElDar aw Elnar? Could be. So its the fear of the unknown, basically.
If a relationship ends, we are stuck with just ourselves to vouch for our worthiness. We don't have a partner to verify our worth..that we're worth spending time with, committing to. So we derive our worth-not from within-but from without.
I have nothing more to say right now-too confused by what I just wrote.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
There is a point
exquisitely hidden
by human tissue
and busy veins,
called “No Return”
Situated
deep within
the crimson folds
“to the left, to the left”
I was lost-couldn’t find it
Until you gave me the map
You had drawn in blood
Drawn from me
For me
When you held me
Then a her (sanctity discovered)
When you kissed me
Then a her (sanctity admired)
When you touched me
Then a her (sanctity desired)
When you inhaled me
Then
Her [sanctity molested]
Which brings us back
to the point
referred to
on the map
as
“X”
exquisitely hidden
by human tissue
and busy veins,
called “No Return”
Situated
deep within
the crimson folds
“to the left, to the left”
I was lost-couldn’t find it
Until you gave me the map
You had drawn in blood
Drawn from me
For me
When you held me
Then a her (sanctity discovered)
When you kissed me
Then a her (sanctity admired)
When you touched me
Then a her (sanctity desired)
When you inhaled me
Then
Her [sanctity molested]
Which brings us back
to the point
referred to
on the map
as
“X”
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Why is it only within folds of pain that you become the greatest most pure form of yourself? Where clarity illuminates everything, and everyone-especially yourself? Why is pain the price you have to pay to experience your true humanity? And why wasn’t I given a say in it? Why wasn’t I asked if I’d like to participate in this freak show or not? Of course, I have to assume there is a purpose to all this that just hasn’t been revealed yet (surprise! surprise!)-or I’ll go insane. Sometimes I wish I could go insane.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
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