Is there a forever thing? Im beginning to think not- not bitterly so-on the contrary. What if we're all so hooked up on the "till death do us (freakin finally!) part" that we don't see that relationships are actually meant to have a beginning, middle and end?

I think we're too conditioned by "that which is universally known to be the norm"..not to mention scared shitless to admit it.

At the core of it all I think it's our phobia of endings. Why do we have a phobia of endings? Let's delve...could it all be stemming from our final "ultimate" ending? Dying? Just because we don't know what's next? Could be. Could it be because we're also "conditioned" to believe that after death its a 50/50 chance? ElDar aw Elnar? Could be. So its the fear of the unknown, basically.

If a relationship ends, we are stuck with just ourselves to vouch for our worthiness. We don't have a partner to verify our worth..that we're worth spending time with, committing to. So we derive our worth-not from within-but from without.

I have nothing more to say right now-too confused by what I just wrote.

Lord Vader, rise.

wait...so this is where i fall to pieces-right?
wrong.

There is a point
exquisitely hidden
by human tissue
and busy veins,
called “No Return”

Situated
deep within
the crimson folds
“to the left, to the left”

I was lost-couldn’t find it
Until you gave me the map
You had drawn in blood
Drawn from me
For me

When you held me
Then a her (sanctity discovered)



When you kissed me
Then a her (sanctity admired)



When you touched me
Then a her (sanctity desired)



When you inhaled me
Then
Her [sanctity molested]



Which brings us back
to the point
referred to
on the map
as

“X”

Why is it only within folds of pain that you become the greatest most pure form of yourself? Where clarity illuminates everything, and everyone-especially yourself? Why is pain the price you have to pay to experience your true humanity? And why wasn’t I given a say in it? Why wasn’t I asked if I’d like to participate in this freak show or not? Of course, I have to assume there is a purpose to all this that just hasn’t been revealed yet (surprise! surprise!)-or I’ll go insane. Sometimes I wish I could go insane.

Depart

How many times must I mourne you?

I crave an honest to God conversation. No bullshit.